THE ATTACK OF THE BORES

My high school English teacher always warned us to, "watch out for homonyms; they can cause you big problems." I have a new respect for that advice now that I have safely returned from a three-day hiking trip. Trail map in hand, I had consulted the park's recreation director about the length and difficulties of…

STOP SURVEYING ME!

I have a full-time job, a household to run, an aging body to maintain, and family to care for and enjoy. To all the businesses and services that I use: please stop dinging my phone every two minutes with another multipage survey. I get it. The goal is to improve customer, client, and patient satisfaction…

THE SCENT OF A WOMAN IS NOW FRUIT SALAD

According to researchers, scents have a powerful effect on the libido. Years ago, the scent of a woman was apt to be roses, lilacs, lilies, or lavender. These days, it is more likely to be pears, melons, cucumber, and avocado. Haircare products come in kiwi, grape, coconut, and blueberry. Balms soothe the lips with raspberry,…

FIRE UP THE GRILL

I have no grilling skills and neither does my husband. I have tried the gas grill, the electric grill, and the standard charcoal briquette method. Everything I attempted to grill was burnt on the outside and bloody raw in the center. The only thing I did learn was that you should never add more lighter…