A TEMPLE TO ALEX TREBEK

Lately I have been intrigued by media reports of people who believe they have seen signs of divinity in everyday objects. Among the sightings were the face of Jesus on a tortilla shell, deceased rock star Jim Morrison in a cloud formation, country singer Willie Nelson in a plate of spaghetti, the Virgin Mary on…

CAN I INTEREST YOU IN SOME MAGIC PRETZEL DUST?

I saw an ad for a snack company advertising its "great" new snack idea: pretzel pieces. Yes, a bag of broken pretzels, such as they used to throw away.  By clever marketing and manipulation of the psyches of suckers (oops, I mean consumers), a manufacturer's former waste product is being promoted as an exciting new…

THE DANGERS OF ARTIFICIAL ENHANCEMENT

My friend Marie has always yearned for a more voluptuous figure. She has tried every gimmick on the market in her attempt to display a more impressive profile. Her undergarments are marvels of ingenuity and monuments to the art of optical illusion. He latest purchase is a bra padded with, according to the tag, paraffin…

CUSTOMER SERVICE IS TERMINALLY ILL

Remember back in the 1960s when real people used to pump your car's gas while checking the oil and tire pressure? Remember when, no matter what type of eating establishment you went to, a real person took your lunch order, brought the food to the table, and when you were finished whisked the dishes away?…