I’ve always dreamed of my name coming after those words, but alas, the thought of appearing on a stage in front of a sea of expectant faces paralizes me with fear. Even for those of us who’ve never participated in the theatrical arts, some small measure of acting ability is a valuable trait. In real life, as opposed to stage life, there’s a fine line between acting and lying. Who among us hasn’t said, “Sorry, I can’t take you to the airport Tuesday because my grandmother passed away and I have to go to the funeral,” even though all your grandparents passed away years ago? That’s sort of acting, isn’t it?

Last summer I had a chance to practice my lying…I mean, my acting skills, when I arrived late for a scheduled hike in a Cincinnati area park. I was driving around the park, looking for the fellow members of my hiking club. I pulled into the parking lot by a picnic shelter, past a sign which read, “Reserved for the reunion of the 1970 class of Robertson High School. Go Mighty Cougars!”

There was a trailhead right behind the shelter. Maybe I could catch up with my group there. I parked and as I got out of the car, a welcoming committee made up of several members of the class, who assumed I was “one of them,” left the shelter and approached to greet me. Here was my chance to practice my acting skills and have some fun.

“Hey, guys!” I cheerfully called out. “Gee, you haven’t changed a bit, Suzy,” I said, reading her name tag. “Go Cougars!” I added, raising my fist in a mock salute. In reality, I’d never even heard of their school.

The committee members exchanged puzzled glances and shrugs.

“Neither have you!” they chorused. “It’s good to see you again!”

So, heh-heh, they have decided to call my bluff, I thought smugly. This should be challenging.

By the time the reunion was in full swing, I was the life of that party. I introduced myself as Debbie. There was at least one Debbie in every graduating class in the late 1960s, making this a pretty safe choice. I falsely reminded everyone that I’d been a cheerleader, secretary of the senior class, runner-up for homecoming queen, member of the Honor Society, and recipient of the Most School Spirit award. I hoped that no one had brought a yearbook to the reunion to check on my lies…I mean my acting skills.

Not only did I get a free meal, but an invitation to the next reunion, when I plan to reinvent myself once again. This time, I’d be Tiffany (I’ve always wanted to be a Tiffany), executive vice president of Proctor and Gamble, and part-owner of the Cincinnati Reds. I’ve got five years to research those organizations and practice my acting skills. I just may earn that Academy Award yet.


4 thoughts on “And the Academy Award Goes To…

  1. Jokemaster Award goes to: Debbie (Denise)

    I can’t find my password to like and sign in. After trying several they tell me I have exceeded my limit…to come back and try again. I forget to come back.

    You are still funny to me. Just wanted you to know I am reading. Will try again to update my account.

    Liked by 1 person

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