JUST WAIT UNTIL YOUR FATHER GETS HOME!

Those were the words that struck fear into the hearts of every child in the era of my youth. Like nearly all my young friends, I grew up in a traditional home of the 1960s. Dad was seldom home. He worked at least 60 hours a week and came home tired and dirty. I'm sure…

FIT FOR A QUEEN

I need a tiara. Yes, I want a bejeweled headdress so large and sparkly that onlookers will have to view me through a pinhole in a piece of cardboard as if I were an eclipse, or they may be blinded by the glare. My escorts (because of course, I would have handsome escorts) would require…

I’M AFRAID TO ASK, BUT WHERE’D MY BAR OF SOAP GO MID-SHOWER?

It seems that everything from shoestrings to refrigerators has been designed to self-destruct. What has happened to the quality of American goods? Do the manufacturers think we have not noticed the rising prices, shrinking packages, and decline in quality? No manufacturer would stoop to such dishonest and unethical practice, would they? Hah! Let's start with…