I am going to retire from the "my dog's smarter than your dog" competition. None of the dogs I have ever owned had any skills other than eating, sleeping, and loving me, and that was enough. On the other hand, my friends are often trying to one-up each other in the competition. They never brag…
THE ATTACK OF THE BORES
My high school English teacher always warned us to, "watch out for homonyms; they can cause you big problems." I have a new respect for that advice now that I have safely returned from a three-day hiking trip. Trail map in hand, I had consulted the park's recreation director about the length and difficulties of…
STOP SURVEYING ME!
I have a full-time job, a household to run, an aging body to maintain, and family to care for and enjoy. To all the businesses and services that I use: please stop dinging my phone every two minutes with another multipage survey. I get it. The goal is to improve customer, client, and patient satisfaction…
AMERICA’S VERSION OF THE RUNNING OF THE BULLS
After reading accounts of this summer's annual Running of the Bulls in Pamplona, Spain, I have just one question: How do they get them to do that? I don't mean the human participants, who do it because they are all liquored up on cheap Spanish wine. I mean how do they get the bulls to…
THE TIES THAT BIND JUST MIGHT BE MOM’S APRON STRINGS
The maternal instinct never dies, even though sometimes it feels as if it is going to wrap itself around your neck like a noose and smother the ever-loving life right out of you. There is no bond on earth quite like the bond between mother and child, but at times it is about as welcome…
THE SCENT OF A WOMAN IS NOW FRUIT SALAD
According to researchers, scents have a powerful effect on the libido. Years ago, the scent of a woman was apt to be roses, lilacs, lilies, or lavender. These days, it is more likely to be pears, melons, cucumber, and avocado. Haircare products come in kiwi, grape, coconut, and blueberry. Balms soothe the lips with raspberry,…
PARENTING TEENS IS LIKE A ROLLER COASTER RIDE OF STRESS
When my husband and I decided to have a baby many years ago, we had no idea what we had signed up for. There have been more dips and dives, more heart-thumping, brain-rattling, stomach-flipping fears than a carnival ride. From the day he was born, my son adored me. Okay, maybe at first it was…
