Women's undergarments are a lot like the art of magic, in that a combination of misdirection of the viewer's attention and hidden wires and trap doors results in the illusion that something has been made of nothing or that nothing has been made of too much of something. All that is really happening is that…
WHAT’S SCARIER THAN THE NEWS?
This morning's horoscope said that I should confront my fears today. I find it ironic that this advice appeared in the newspaper. These days there is nothing scarier than the news. As if impeachment, world-wide terrorism, and mass shootings were not scary enough, in an effort to attract more viewers to the late-night news, the…
FROM ONE RENTED ROOM TO A CONVERTED CHICKEN COOP; LIFE IN THE GREAT DEPRESSION
Our grandparents who grew up during The Great Depression could teach us all a thing or two about self-sacrifice and financial hardship. It did not mean ordering the Porterhouse steak instead of the rib-eye or drinking Polar Springs bottled water instead of Perrier. Depression-era children, now elderly or deceased, told me that once you truly…
MY PLAN TO BE A BALD, CROTCHETY, ECCENTRIC OLD LADY
I do not intend to grow old gracefully. I am not happy about the process, but as the saying goes, "it beats the alternative. "My health has held up pretty well, in spite of assorted aches and pains which have no known cause and for which apparently there is no known cure. My doctor's favorite…
GET YOUR GRUBBY HANDS OFF MY HERSHEY’S KISS!
The store shelves are stocked from floor to ceiling with bags of delicious treats. Bakery windows beckon passersby with aromatic displays of pumpkin-shaped cookies and cupcakes decorated with bright orange icing and sugar-spun spiders. We all have our weaknesses. Mine is candy and other sweet treats and we now are entering the most difficult time…
MY DOG’S SMARTER THAN YOUR DOG
I am going to retire from the "my dog's smarter than your dog" competition. None of the dogs I have ever owned had any skills other than eating, sleeping, and loving me, and that was enough. On the other hand, my friends are often trying to one-up each other in the competition. They never brag…
THE ATTACK OF THE BORES
My high school English teacher always warned us to, "watch out for homonyms; they can cause you big problems." I have a new respect for that advice now that I have safely returned from a three-day hiking trip. Trail map in hand, I had consulted the park's recreation director about the length and difficulties of…
